If you’ve been reading this blog, you might have gotten the impression that The Drinkinator is a tough critic who never gives a positive review. Let me take this opportunity to chuck a spear into that bubble of yours, ’cause it ain’t healthy living in a complete fantasy world like that. Here you go, folks. Dave “The Drinkinator” gives a positive review.
Nothing epitomizes the south, its graciousness, its hospitality, and its genteel politeness more than an ice-cold glass of sweet tea. Sweet tea, folks. Wholesome goodness from the leaves of a camellia bush, dried, and steeped in boiling hot water, with the sugar already added. Sweet Tea is nearly the perfect good. Sitting in the shade on a sweltering afternoon, with a tall glass of sweet tea, the heavens part, and angels descend. Bliss.
Now you know The Drinkinator is down on the whole artificial sweetener thing, and has already declared himself HFCS-free. This really limits me in terms of what I can review, but conversely opens up a realm of “premium” beverages, where corners aren’t cut left and right and the emphasis is on a quality thirst-quenching experience. And, since I already view sweet tea as the next nearest thing to a visit from angelic hosts, you know I’ve started the review on a positive foot.
Let’s get this straight. Texas is the most awesome state in the United States. They have everything. Dr. Pepper is still made with real imperial cane sugar there. Chuck Norris. Lance freakin’ Armstrong. Barbequeue beef brisket. Texas is the center of awesomeness.
What have we so far? We have Camellia sinensis, of which the Chinese have been touting the health benefits for 4700 years. We have sugar, the sweet goodness which prevents boring bland flavorless nothing. We have southern hospitality. We have the fluttering wings of angels. And we have Texas. Good stacked upon good, stacked upon good, stacked upon good. Awesomeness multiplied.
And now, thanks to the Sweet Leaf Tea Co. of Austin Texas, this perfect good is available in bottles, and shipped nationwide. As I write this review, I’m genteelly sipping from a 16 oz bottle, containing a mere 110 calories of green tea, sugar, filtered water, spearmint extract, and honey. Dang! You mean to tell me that this stuff may actually be good for me? It fights cancer, lowers stress, boosts the immune system, increases mental alertness, inhibits intestinal inflammation… Dude! The Drinkinator is impressed.
Yes, folks, tasty, sweet, minty, honey-laden, antioxidant heaven, bottled in Texas. It simply doesn’t get any better.